Even considering what I do for a living I have always struggled with doubt, what to believe in, what not to believe in, is belief important. My stance was always whether or not it was important to choose a faith, and where would that faith take me. I am a person of great doubt. The assumption that I always made was that a-theism was the baseline, the starting point, the alternate choice to faith. I somehow assumed that a-theism was also the non-faith option.
I was watching a video one day about the stance of atheism and the idea that was actually supported and promoted by the atheists was that we are here by chance. All of a sudden I realized that atheism was not the baseline or even the opposite of faith, it was completely faith. Whereas my whole life I had struggled with believing in a God that I don’t understanding sometimes, they were believing in chance.