I am frustrated.
I have been spending my life building boxes for people to get inside of, and they keep escaping. Either they escape or they try to define the shape of the box for me. No matter how much packing tape I use, no matter the material that the box is made of, they keep trying to escape or reshape. Its to the point now that I am starting to think that I have two options:
- investigate stronger materials in which to hold the people that I am putting in boxes
- stop putting people in boxes
Before anyone calls the cops and tell them to come by my house and look for boxes in my garage with people in them I should tell you that I am talking about existential boxes or rather boxes in my mind. I have for year tried to define people in order to simplify my view of them, only to find out that people are more complex than I am willing to give them credit for. I have stuck my foot in my mouth repeatedly based on my assessment of someone. I have repeatedly avoided people or befriended people based on my assessments.
I repeatedly tell myself not to create boxes, but something in me tells me I just need to be a better box builder. Maybe I should make them bigger to accommodate more stuff. The problem with any box is that it will be made up of my own experiences and my own observations and not the reality of the person’s life that I am trying to define.