Yesterday morning I woke up late, well 6:30. For many of you that is very early, for me its about an hour late. This means that the stuff that I would like to get accomplished before the house wakes up did not all get done. So when my boys had to get out of bed to get ready for school I was already thinking about all the stuff I did not get done. So I had the boys get their breakfast, and then they had to make their lunches. I know that is asking a lot but they actually like doing it normally so I let them. However asking them to do this stuff in “hurry up” mode is a different process altogether.
In order to get them out the door I felt the need to do a little bit of yelling and expediting, so that by the time they were in the car they felt as though they had been shot through a cannon. The reason that I had to get them out of the house early was because I was leading worship music at school and I had to get there early to get ready. So imagine my shock that when all of the children from the school are gathered for a time to worship God, my boys look a little distracted. I was immediately upset because my boys should be great “worshipers” because they are my boys. Instead I was angry because one of them had his arms folded and another one was preoccupied with his shoes.
So here is a list of the things that I should have remembered when I started to try to lead my boys in worship this morning:
- Boys NEVER sing as much as girls in these events, my boys would rather have a job to do than to just be asked to sing with a group. If I had asked them to run slides to bang on the drum or something more tactile they would have been more involved.
- My oldest son, the arm folder, likes to work to raise money for ministries. He is an activist by nature, so why did I ask him to show his spirituality through singing. Something that he does all the time by himself.
- That leads me to a third point, two of my children are natural introverts. They don’t want to be noticed in a large group, they want to be noticed by their friends.
- My sons might, just might, have been more focused on dad’s attitude leaving the house than my attitude in front of the whole assembly of children.
- Last but not least, I would not have been singing at their age unless it was to mock the song (or the worship leader). Why would I expect much more from them.
I am in a constant process of having expectations for my children then adjusting them based on my own self actualization.