As I alluded to yesterday I had a rough fall, which as you will find out is funny on two levels.
I have always wanted to be a handy person and I still aspire to be such a person, however the case against my desires keep building. Back in September of last year my wife and I decided to take a large couch unit off of our friends hands. To say that the sectional is large might be a bit of an understatement as it took both our Suburban and our Caravan to get it from Portland to Poulsbo. The only problem with sectionals is that they are kind of like parents, they tell you what to do not the other way around. What I mean by that is when you acquire such a large chunk of furniture you really only have one place in your house that it will fit, and only in a particular way.
So I did what most people would do in a situation like that, I went out and bought a television. Why? you might ask. Well the only place we could put the sectional was facing the fireplace which means that the very bulky and awkward television that we had needed to go because it did not fit on top of the mantle. This makes a whole lot more sense when you have already told yourself that you wanted a new TV anyway, then the only thing you need to do is help others see the logical progression that you have built up in your head so that they are okay with it.
So I fretted and researched and ultimately bought a cheap, but large TV from Costco, which I have been very happy with.
Did I mention that I am cheap.
The reason that I made that last statement is so that the rest of this will make more sense. The Seahawks first preseason game was coming on, and my neighbors were supposed to be coming over to watch it at my house. So now I have the “new to me” sectional, the new TV on the mantle, but no channels. I refuse to pay for cable because that would give me an excuse to watch more TV than I already do (which is still more than I ought) which means that I had to run my antenna wire from the front of the house to the center of the house. That involved moving the wire, drilling a hole, and discreetly hiding the wire so that it did not stick out. That means I have to go up into the ceiling.
In order to get into the attic I have to take everything out of my pantry.
I could leave that last on its own without explanation, but I think that context is important here so I will tell you why. The pantry has an attic access and the braces for the shelves are actually ladder rungs that have been mounted on the side of this awkward pantry/closet in my kitchen.
Once I was up in the ceiling all was going well, I drilled the requisite hole in the wall, I ran the wire through the hole, I walked the wire across the ceiling bracings and …. #$%#@@!!
I went through the ceiling, and the reason that I left the last paragraph with an implied swear word is because I don’t want to tell you what I said repeatedly while I was holding myself up so that I would not go all the way to the floor. My son felt as though this was an appropriate time to point humorously that I should not have punched a hole in the ceiling. He was pretty proud of his humorous observations until my wife told him quietly, yet abruptly that he needed to be quiet. He did happen to point out before his mom-imposed silence that I probably should not use the S-word, let alone repeatedly.
Now here is the great part. My neighbors were scheduled to come by and watch the game in less than an hour and I had a hole in my living room. So I took off to the hardware store (I will mention which one if they will sponsor my site, but it rhythms with dome repo) to get a piece of sheet rock to cover the hole, which is the piece in the picture attached to this blog. As I was heading to the Suburban I called my landlord, a man that is most graceful with my mistakes, to let him know what I had done. As I was going to the store he came up to the house to see what happened, walked in, and started to laugh. He told my wife that we should just put a picture of Jesus or an American flag over the hole. And my wife told him that is why we don’t have him decorate our house.
My son calls it my “Square of Shame” and now many of my friends as well. I hope to fix it soon but I have no confidence in my drywall and popcorn ceiling repair skills so I continue to drag my feet. Thankfully a month later I attempted to destroyed the deck and it distracted people from my attempt to ventilate the living room.